" You shall love the Lord your God ...

... with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

As I look at these commandments, I actually see not two, but three of them – and in a very specific order …

1.       Love God

2.       Love yourself

3.       Love your neighbor

Why is this?  Because each one enables the next.  I cannot love my neighbor as myself until I actually learn how to love myself.  And I cannot truly love myself until I learn the love of God.  When I try to do these out of order, my results are shallow imitations of love – perhaps doing nice things for others, but so often  for the wrong reasons – out of a desire to be highly regarded, guilt over having more than others, a sense of duty to do the right thing, or a desire to earn my way into God’s good graces.  Without a truly loving heart, no actions are truly loving God, myself, or my neighbors. 

So, let’s start at the beginning with the first commandment.  I am called to love the Lord with all my heart, my soul, my mind, and my strength.  That’s pretty much all I’ve got – my whole self – body, mind and spirit.  How in the world could I ever be capable of that?! I take some comfort that I am a work in process and likely won’t get to that full level of loving the Lord in this world.  I also take comfort that it is not something I actually initiate.  But rather, it comes first from a loving encounter with God, where I am given a glimpse of the love God has for me – for who I am, not what I do, have done, or should do.  Once I experience this kind of pure, unconditional love, only then am I moved to love in the same way, loving God, in the joy of such unmerited gift.  For those of you who know my story of such an encounter with the Lord while on retreat in 2002, you know that changed everything.  After experiencing such a pure love for me unlike anything I had ever experienced before, I was moved to love God in as full a way as I knew how – trusting and partnering with God in my life and ministry in ways I never could have imagined before. 

As for the second part of this commandment, love yourself, many of us are so wounded by our experiences of life that we are not able to fully love ourselves or anyone else for that matter.  However, with the love and support of many – health practitioners, spiritual companions, family, and friends, we can further open ourselves to God to do the tough work of healing and loving ourselves in that same unconditional way that we have experienced from God.  Not in an egotistical “I’m better than others” way,  but rather in a way of realizing we are wonderfully made by God – not that we always behave that way, but at our core we are good.  And in that goodness, we should give ourselves grace, just as God gives grace to us.   Again, I am very much a work in process, but trying to be kinder, more compassionate, and understanding of myself. 

Only then, when I actually love myself, can I truly love my neighbor as myself.  Otherwise, I love my neighbor with the same conditions I put on myself – only if they behave well, agree with me, do something for me, love me, or have something I need.   Which seems to be how much of the world loves.  Is it any wonder, when much of the world denies God, that we are unable to love like God?  How can we possibly embody that self-sacrificing love of God if we don’t know it?  Even we who are Christians, fail at this regularly. So often, that we can have difficulty distinguishing any difference between Christian and non-Christian behavior.  A sad testimony to the state of our world. 

But lest we let discouragement overcome us, we know that it is not from our own power that we love, but rather from the power of God’s spirit who seeks always to bring us to love.  For us mere humans it is a very gradual process of openness to God’s spirit and leading, trying and failing, baby steps forward and back.  Fortunately, God is patient, forgiving, and always loving.  And each day – each moment actually, we can choose to love in the best way we know how with all those we encounter.  And our best way of choosing love is given us in 1 John 4:16, “God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.”